Chapter Summary: How to behave in the home and in the church so that spouses will come to God and believers be happy.
Verses 1-6
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Godly conduct in the home means that wives should obey their husbands, even if they mistreat them, with a gentle attitude - just the same as we should submit to any other human authority (like those discussed in the previous chapter).
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Abuse in a marriage is no justification for divorce. In fact, good conduct and submissiveness in the face of such mistreatment are how the abusive party will have the best chance of repenting and being saved.
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Abuse can be a reason to separate for a time if there is real, life-threatening danger, but it's never a biblically justified reason to divorce. The believing party in the marriage should remain committed to the marriage.
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If you're a woman married to an unbelieving or difficult husband, remain submissive, yield to his wants, and be gentle. Only disobey him where you are asked to disobey God's Word, as submitting to God comes first.
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Your submissive conduct will do its work to save your husband, so focus on your conduct.
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God will give you more grace to endure if you are willing to obey Him.
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Verse 7a
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Husbands should honor their wives, and be gentle with them, so as to not hurt them.
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As a husband, be considerate, and be understanding of your wife's tenderness. This is how you honor her. Do not be bitter or frustrated with her, do not talk down to her, and do not speak or act harshly towards her (Colossians 3:19). Respect her!
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Honor your wife because she is your helper, and honor her especially if she is a believer, as she is an honored member of God's kingdom!
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Verse 7b
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Prioritize honoring your wife, or your prayers will be hindered. If you are willingly neglecting your marriage or disrespecting your wife, your prayers will not be heard like they could be.
Verses 8-9
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Verses 8-9. Good conduct in the church means being in agreement and partnership with fellow believers, along with being kind and forgiving.
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Just as you shouldn't neglect your marriage, don't neglect relationships with believers in your community. Cultivate close friendships, treat each other like family, and share the same doctrine from the Word.
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Verses 10-12
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Overall, do what is good and right, and you will enjoy life, and you will be close to God.
- Do what is evil, and God will be in a form is resistance to you. Even believers will find themselves distanced from God if they make a practice of choosing sin. As one example from earlier in the chapter, your prayers may be hindered.
- If you want to inherit blessing, be a blessing to others. As Jesus said, "with the judgment you use you will be judged".
- We are told not to return evil for evil. Avoiding evil often is as simple as not reacting sinfully when someone sins against you first. Much of our sin is a reaction to someone else. So control your reactions, and you will stop the spread of evil.
Verses 13-17
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It is best in all cases and for all parties to obey God.
- If you always do what is good and right, most people won't hurt you. But even if they do, you're blessed because when they see that you still do good even when treated poorly, you'll have their attention and a chance to share your faith.
- Therefore, keep Christ and His Word at the center of your life and your top priority, and this will ensure you're always ready to share your faith - ready to speak the exact scripture or word that is needed for any person.
- Keeping your conduct good and righteous will also make those who mistreated you sorry for any way in which they misunderstood or slandered you, realizing the goodness of your faith and your behavior. At this point they will be more likely to repent and be saved.
Verses 18-22
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Just as our suffering for doing good will bring others to glorify God in the end, Christ's suffering for doing good brought us to glorify God. Even those (likely angels) who were disobedient thousands of years ago got to hear of Christ's suffering from His own mouth. He preached to them in their prison, presumed to be in hell. And even they must now bow the knee and confess that Jesus Christ is Lord (Philippians 2:10).
- Verse 21. The physical act of water baptism does not save you. Baptism symbolizes the washing of your conscience. Therefore, it is a changed conscience (one with newfound faith and repentance) that identifies a saved person.